Playin’ Trains with Clem Clement
By Michael S. Oher, TCA #18-73531 Fall 2025 e*Train
In late July, I made the trip down to Virginia to visit my friend Ryan Newman—the hobby’s resident troll. Ryan has built a reputation for poking fun, asking contrarian questions, and generally keeping everyone laughing with his playful antics. He’s not mean-spirited in the slightest—he just can’t resist stirring up a little mischief to see how people react.
From his home in Virginia, Ryan and I set out together for a private show featuring operating layouts of every size and style. Our route wound through the Blue Ridge Mountains and across the Shenandoah River—“life is old there, older than the trees, younger than the mountains, blowin’ like a breeze.” With scenery like that, it felt as though Virginia itself was welcoming us in, setting the stage for the fellowship and fun that awaited us at the show.
A Show of Operating Layouts
The event was buzzing, alive with collectors, families, and friends. Layouts of every type filled the hall: tinplate trains gleaming under bright lights, postwar classics rolling strong, and modern locomotives showing off their digital sound and command control. Kids lined up to blow whistles, adults admired the scenery, and the air was thick with conversation and laughter.
The hobby’s resident troll wasted no time making an impression. Ryan loudly proclaimed that the snack table was the “true centerpiece of the show.” Then, lowering his voice as though he was sharing forbidden knowledge, he told a group of kids about something called Speed Running.
With complete conviction, he explained that Speed Running is a “secret” part of the hobby that all adults know about but wouldn’t dare talk about to others. The rules, he said, are simple: take the fanciest, most expensive locomotive you can borrow from your parents, set it on a long straight track, and slam the throttle wide open. The goal is to see which train is the last one left on the rails. If your train derails or breaks, you’re out. And, Ryan added in a conspiratorial whisper, if the locomotive you chose came out of a glass display case, you get a five-second head start.
The kids hung on every word, their eyes wide, convinced they’d just been let in on one of the hobby’s best-kept secrets.
Meeting STOMPER
The true highlight of the trip, though, came when we visited Clem Clement (Honor Roll Member, TCA #64-987) and met one of his most famous legends: STOMPER.
STOMPER isn’t just a train—he’s practically a character in his own right. Part 408E, part impact drill, he is from outer space and runs on a mysterious energy source called anti-matter catsup. He barrels around the rails with reckless energy and has a reputation for unpredictability. Clem told us that years ago, during one of STOMPER’s particularly spirited runs, the Nuclear Regulatory Commission called him. They’d detected an unexplained energy surge at Three Mile Island and wanted to know if STOMPER was on the layout again. Clem calmly confirmed that yes, he was. Case closed.
Watching STOMPER in action was unforgettable. He tore around the layout with such force and confidence that even Ryan, the eternal contrarian, was briefly struck silent. (Briefly.)
The Tetanus Tornado
As if meeting STOMPER wasn’t enough, Clem also unveiled the infamous Tetanus Tornado. A rattling, whirling, sharp-edged wonder, it looked equal parts Lionel accessory and mad-scientist experiment. Guests stood back in awe while Ryan tried to convince me to stand closer “for scale.” I wisely declined.
And just when I thought I’d seen it all, along came the Toaster Car. Yes—you read that right: a tinplate standard gauge TOASTER, on wheels, chugging proudly around the layout. As it rattled past Clem, the lever sprang up and a pair of golden-brown slices popped into the air, as though breakfast itself had joined the operating session. Without missing a beat, Clem grabbed the toast mid-run, held it up, and called out with a grin, “Anyone got butter, boys?”
Clem’s Heart for the Hobby
Through it all, Clem remained the same gracious, generous figure he has always been. He greeted every guest warmly and made sure each child left with a toy car in hand. It was a simple gesture, but the joy on those kids’ faces said it all: Clem knows how to pass the magic along.
And then came the crowning moment: Ryan and I had the honor of presenting Clem with the first annual Eastern Division Richard “Clem” Clement Lifetime Achievement Award, named in his honor. To see him accept it—surrounded by friends, laughter, and the trains he loves—was unforgettable.
A Lasting Memory
As the day wound down, I stepped back to take it all in. Children were smiling, operators were swapping stories, and the trains kept clicking along their rails. In that moment, the words came to mind to describe it: “Country roads, take me home, to the place I belong.” Surrounded by friends, fun, and trains, I realized that this hobby gives us a sense of home no matter where we are. Be it in California, New Mexico, New York, New Jersey, West Virginia, or somewhere in between.
Leaving Virginia, I carried more than just memories of layouts and laughter. I carried the joy of community, the antics of the hobby’s resident troll, and the privilege of honoring one of TCA’s true legends.
“Playin’ Trains with Clem Clement” isn’t just the title of an article—it is the perfect description of a day where trains, tall tales, and friendship all came together.
